Living Long

“Lives filled with joy and meaning fuel our health and longevity.”

There were some beautiful days last week. The clear light and bright fall colors enveloped the Upper Valley in a golden glow.   Warm temperatures enticed neighbors out into yards and along the streets to stop for a few minutes and chat.  I ran into a friend out working in his shirtsleeves and we were soon swapping stories.  He was taking a rest from swinging a pick-ax; I was taking a break from sitting at my computer.

My friend and I are both baby-boomers with a lot of living ahead of us so, as often happens when people of a certain age get together, we fell to musing about how to maintain our energy, zest, vitality, and conditioning while still accepting the physical changes that come with middle age.  He has been an athlete and outdoorsman all his life. I just want to get into good enough shape to hike into the wilderness without passing out.  We both have families where our elders live well into their nineties. Neither of us wants to “settle” into a sedentary old age.  We want to live fully, exuberantly and feel good at the same time. We didn’t come to any resolution but as we both went back to work, I remembered the quote at the beginning of this column and contemplated how to make it real and immediate.

What can we draw on to drive us toward health?  What is it that brings us joy?  Where have we felt our lives to be most meaningful?  What do we want to change so that our lives include more moments of deep happiness? 

The first question speaks to motivation.  The second, third and fourth have to do with inspiration.  They ask us to entertain the sacred “why”.   Motivation may get us to the gym or out onto the trails, but it won’t sustain our movement toward health and vitality.  It’s how we feel when we do that thing that brings us joy!

Whatever change you are looking to make in your life, find the joy.  Find the inspiration. Hold on to the meaning.

Secrets of a Joyful Life: part one

The first secret to living a joyful life is this. Give up the word “should”.

I spent years trying to be perfect because I thought I should be.  I had this belief that if I were perfect, and everything I did was perfect, I would be happy. It didn’t work. I wasn’t perfect and therefore I wasn’t happy. Lots of therapy, mountains of books, hours of meditation, and a few kicks in the rear taught me what “should” be glaringly obvious. I don’t want to be perfect. Which is a good thing since I don’t have a clue what perfect looks like. I know what goes through my mind whenever I channel my old-time religion. It’s expectation of perfection and a whole lot of “shoulds”.

Pre-conceived ideas about what I “should” be or do made me rigid and and miserable and not a little judgmental. I was forever fighting against myself and the world.  It wore me out and left me without choice and vulnerable when life didn’t go the way I expected.  I got knocked down–a lot.

Here’s an analogy.  A few years ago there were some wild winters in the Cle Elum Ranger District of the Okanogan Wenatchee National Forest. Heavy winds blew down hundreds of trees. It took the rangers and their crews most of the summer to clear the trails of blow downs. The next year heavy snow and avalanches did much the same thing.  The trees were vulnerable because they could not bend.  The storms took them out.

We are like trees in a storm when expectations of who we “should” be keeps us resisting the soul’s call for authentic self-expression. Life keeps blowing us down.  I ask you, who would you be if you could give up who you think you “should” be and allow yourself to become what you are meant to be?  How would you feel? What would your life look like?  Would you allow yourself your meditation, passion, exercise, creativity, love, and connection with whatever brings you joy?

The storms that took out the trees had no effect on the wildflowers and grasses.  They yielded to the elements and came back in the spring as vibrant and beautiful as ever.

Here’s the paradox.  Living the joyful life is a soulful process. The soul is all about living authentically–from the place that makes you unique, precious, magnificent, and radiant.  Living the joyful life means acceptance, willingness, conscious awareness, freedom, and being true to yourself–however that manifests.

There is no “should” about it.